Resolving Restlessness

Winter months of January-March are difficult for me.  Gray skies and confining cold dispose me to wake up grumpy and yearning for warmth and excitement.  I daydream of warm vacations to escape the lifeless landscape that surrounds us here.  At least I know that the hope, beauty, and bounty that spring and summer brings to this landscape is unsurpassable, and that is why I have learned to not want to evacuate immediately.

After my mom came to visit in December, Derek and I laid awake late one night trying to conceive where we could go once his contract was up a year and a half from now.  For the first time in our lives, we will have the choice of where to locate our family, not dictated by Derek’s educational programs or obligations.  We can choose, based purely on what we want for our family.  Fortunately, Primary Care in the field of medicine is in high demand and he could find a job almost anywhere, although the scope of his practice would certainly be limited depending on how many specialists are in a given area.  That night, we constructed scenario after scenario, based on proximity to family, education systems, climate, church population/proximity to a temple, and job description (which varies widely from one community to another for a family doctor.)  We entertained possibilities in Colorado, Arizona, California...and then we discussed [again] why we want to leave Sunnyside.  Ultimately, we found, it boils down to the education system and distance from family. 

Although we cherished our time in Colorado and the three years that we were able to spend close to both of our parents, we also feel that we have been blessed with the means to travel to visit them at least a few times a year. (I have come to realize that I would prefer to set aside money so that we can travel on a regular basis to accumulating more possessions... not that we are good at that yet, but I have it in my sights for 2013 to be better about budgeting for travel.)  Both sets of our parents have taught us how to cultivate strong family connections despite geographic distances.  They have also taught us that there are experiences to be had in different parts of the world that we  would forgo if we remained tethered to one geographic location.  I don’t really believe that one choice is superior to the other-- we see strong multi-generational families in every place that we live, and we admire [dare I say envy?] them.  We feel that same strength in our own families, but we don’t have the blessing of dropping the kids off at grandma and grandpa’s for a sleepover, or sharing Sunday dinners together on a regular basis.  On the other hand, I feel that the time we do spend together is fun and blissful and focused on the love we have for each other, and we don’t really have time to let petty, trivial differences mar our relationships.  So I believe that there are significant pros and cons to living near or away from family.

That’s to say nothing of the experiences we have had and continue to have as we live in a place that is not familiar (our beloved Ft. Collins and the Front Range.)  Although every time we return to Ft. Collins and drive down I-25 along the majestic mountain range we feel a pull to that place that we both feel is “home”, we also wouldn’t trade any of the experiences that we have had in Utah, Michigan, or now Washington.  We have made so many dear friends and have had so many experiences that we would have missed if we had stayed in Colorado forever.

As for the education system here, it isn’t what we want it to be, but currently we have a solution that is working well for us.  I’ll write more about our first semester of homeschooling later this week.


We continue to learn that Heavenly Father knows us better than we know ourselves and that no matter how much we think we want something, He has the unobscured perspective to know what will truly make us happy.  If we are wise, we will continue to seek that perspective.

That night, as we laid in the dark, we finally came back to the idea of staying in Sunnyside for a while.  Although we can’t foresee how long it may be, we know it will probably be longer than a year and a half.   Despite the things that are lacking here, Heavenly Father has blessed us abundantly and given us more than we need or deserve.  Once we came to that conclusion, we were finally able to go to sleep.