For a long time now, I have been craving two things; time with Derek and time working together with him in the yard. It's not that I don't get any time with him-- his work schedule has actually been relatively "normal" lately (leave around 8, home around 6). We both have actually worked quite a bit in the yard this year, too-- just not together. And when I say "yard work", I think vegetable garden and flower beds; when Derek says "yard work", he thinks mowing and edging.
As I was running 7 miles with my friend Michelle this morning, we talked about a lot of things, as we usually do. At one point in our conversation, Michelle remarked that Derek and I seem to have a really great relationship; that we are affectionate with one another and seem to really care about each other. It was a very kind complement, and I agreed that we do have a great relationship. But I confided that like everyone, we have our ups and downs, and my frustration lately was that I have really been wanting time to work with Derek, and his recent focus, when he hasn't been at work, has been to exercise, often morning and evening. I really admire his focus and persistence when he is trying to achieve a goal (he has lost 30 pounds in the past 6 weeks!) so I am learning that sometimes I just have to be patient and eventually he will come around. (This lesson has been a long time coming-- we have had several arguments over the years about what I have perceived as his lack of balance, and I what I suppose he has perceived as my lack of focus.)
Even though I know Derek hoped to get a bike ride in yesterday afternoon (even after his morning half marathon run), he must have sensed my wishes because after we returned home from our races and the ward picnic, he immediately joined me out in the garden. He asked what was on my yard work to-do list for the day, and then shared his list, and struck up a deal with me; he would work with me and then I would work with him. I was thrilled that he wanted to work together!
We started with weeding the garden, which I haven't yet touched this year. Volunteer onions, cilantro, and spinach were growing from last year's crop, but aside from that, it was a 900 square foot weed patch, with some weeds nearly as tall as I was. Using the tiller, hoes, rakes, and shovels, we had half of it cleared within a few hours. We talked all afternoon; we contentedly observed Ethan and Reid playing with Gabe and Ben Oswalt, our "across-the-asparagus and mint-fields" neighbors, Luke, Jane, and Joe playing with Connor Johnson, in the driveway on bikes, on the trampoline, in the dirt. We shared our feelings of fulfillment and happiness with our present life situation, and amazement at how Heavenly Father knows us better than we know ourselves. I'll be the first to admit that I had no idea how much I would LOVE country life, and even small-town life. While I realize that this lifestyle isn't for everyone, that there are good reasons and benefits that come from urbanization (and that many of the comforts we enjoy even out here in the country come from industrialized society... like that fact that I'm writing this using a laptop, transmitted via wireless internet connected to the rest of the world through 3G), where we are and what we are doing is perfect for our family right now. I think the social demands of a suburban community might be too much for our (not so) little family. Derek does not do well with excessive busy-ness and I can be easily distracted if I am not constantly and consciously trying to choose "doing something better" over "doing something good." Heavenly Father has given us everything we need and more. I continue to learn that even if we are not blessed in the ways or time that we think we need, we are always given what we need. The most prominent example for us right now is the kids' education. I NEVER envisioned that I would be a homeschool mom (although I should have suspected it given the fact that I have been exposed to different friends who have done it ever since Ethan was little, and I have always been intrigued with how and why these women have done it.) Since we have moved here we have said that we love everything about Sunnyside except the education system. While Heavenly Father didn't miraculously transform the school district overnight, he did miraculously lead us to our current program that, at least for now, is ideal for our kids. It's not what I ever would have designed, but like I said, I'm learning to trust more in the Master Architect.
I was willing to quit weeding the garden after a few hours and move on to a project from Derek's list, but as mentioned above, Derek has a thing with completing tasks. I was pleasantly surprised-- no thrilled-- at how excited Derek was getting about the garden. I had designed a new and improved drip system from last year-- this time using 1/2" tubing instead of 1/4" which I learned from trial and error clogs much too easily with irrigation water (which inherently carries weeds and debris into the system). Derek helped me piece the PVC and black tubing together. We finally took a break for dinner-- more for the kids' sake than ours. We had a yummy dinner at El Charrito-- a Mexican "squat and gobble", as the Weavers refer to fast food-- which surprised us both at how good it was. We went to Wal-Mart (a major Sunnyside faux pas on a Saturday night) to get a few plants and seed packets for the garden. I was giddy about seeing Derek excited to pick garden plants. This is the first year he has taken such an interest. It really caught me off-guard.
We got home after dusk around 8:30 and worked quickly to plant the plants and add flag drippers to the black tubing (we should have gotten out headlamps... I was literally doing it by feel by the time we were done.) We finally turned on the drip system just before 10 pm, and the sound of dripping water was music to our ears.
I would have not gotten half of the work done by myself, and it wouldn't have been half as enjoyable. Days like yesterday are just a testament to the fact that nothing brings satisfaction like hard work and family togetherness.
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"Well, about halfway there. What you can't quite see is about equally as many weeds as the section we have tilled."
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