(Not so) "Put-together"

I was chatting with some moms when I picked Jane up from preschool this week, and one gal made the comment to me, "You're the mom who always looks so put together." I laughed surprisedly, and said, "Yes! My plan to fool everyone is working." Little did she know that I was in fuzzy Smurfette pajama pants at the same time the day before. And the day before that.

If you're reading this, then you love me (I hope, otherwise you're just blog-stalking me) and so you know a lot of my imperfections. If you don't I'll let you in on a few. (You do love me, right? There's a reason I'm posting this here and not on Facebook. I'll let all of my FB Friends keep believing that I'm the "put-together mom.")

This photo was taken at my darling sister Cami's wedding, at the Mesa Arizona temple a few weeks ago. When I asked my sister-in-law to take it that day, it wasn't because I was feeling particularly "put-together", but really because we all had church clothes on and there was someone else with a camera around and opportunities like that don't happen very frequently.

I've done this enough now to know that I'd better get everyone posed right the first time, because the most genuine smiles are the first ones. And because after 5 clicks of the camera, my family is DONE. I've learned that if all of our eyes are open and 5 out of 7 of us are doing what we are told, we call it good. For us, this picture was very much a success.

If you were to see the photo of me with my sisters taken moments before, you'd notice that my wrap dress which looks lovely on them looks disheveled and rather "un-put-together" on me, as a result of carrying Joe on my hip (his favorite place to hang out, these days.) I felt like I was really struggling to style my new haircut. I had wanted to curl and perfectly style Jane's hair too, but we were lucky to manage a braid that day. We were running on very little sleep that week, and then Joey decided to come down with a fever a day before the wedding and as a result was extremely fussy.

I'm trying to determine my reason for posting this. I'm not trying to garner sympathy or solicit complements. I guess I'm just documenting this phase in my life that I know won't last forever. In many ways I think it's quite comical how I feel like I'm constantly just putting out fires, trying to keep our household simmering without boiling over, and how much of the time I feel like we are teetering on the verge of catastrophe. I lament the fact that in many ways I feel like Derek and I have become the cliche "married with children" couple who find toys in our bed and collapse with exhaustion after shuffling everyone else off to bed each night.

BUT, I love and adore each of my sweet, precious, funny, spiritual, intelligent, witty, clever children. I am so grateful for Derek, who has always made it possible for me to stay home with our kids. I know that someday (probably too soon) our house will be quiet and it will be just the two of us again.

The more I look at this photo, the more I actually love it because 1) it is at the temple and 2) it is really us, trying to hold it together amidst the (cute) chaos, and genuinely happy.